Will Sex Make Billy Love Me?

     Question to O. A.:  I’m a high school senior.  My boyfriend, “Billy,” wants sex.  We go to a Christian school, and our teachers tell us that sex is for married people only.  Billy isn’t a Christian, and he says our teachers are old-fogies who’re bumming me out.  I love Billy, but he says he can’t love me without sex.  Will sex make Billy love me?  PS:  Can you hurry with the answer?  S. H. in New York.

     Dear S. H.:  No, sex won’t make Billy love you.  The opposite is probably true.  Billy is the one who’s bumming you out – not your teachers.  You have two huge decisions to make right this very minute.  First, the Early Christians gave us this rule:  “Absolutely do not date or marry non-Christians because purity can’t share the same space with wickedness, and light has nothing in common with darkness.”[1.  Adapted from Second Corinthians 6:14.]

     So your first huge decision is to decide what kind of relationship you want with a non-Christian boy.  Spiritually, you have nothing in common with Billy, and you never will (unless he becomes a Christian).  So you have several options:  You can break with Billy completely.  Or you can keep Billy as a friend only.  Or you can tell Billy that you’re a Christian, and you can tell him what kind of relationship Christians are supposed to have.  Or you can do some combination of these options.

     Then, your second huge decision (and this one is connected to the first decision) is whether to have sex outside of marriage.  The technical word for sex outside of marriage is fornication.  (Look up the meaning of the word “fornication” in an online dictionary.)  This decision should be easy, since the Early Christians gave us this rule:  “There must not be even a hint of fornication among you, since it’s wrong for God’s holy people to fornicate.”[2.  Adapted from Ephesians 5:3.]

     To summarize, you have two problems with Billy.  First, he’s a non-Christian, and you’re not supposed to get serious with a non-Christian.  Second, he’s a non-Christian who’s trying to blackmail you into fornicating, and you’re not supposed to fornicate.

     So, what you need now is strong Christian support, and you need it immediately.  Run, don’t walk, to one of your Christian teachers, or to your school’s guidance counselor and, without telling any secrets, ask him or her to pray with you.  You can also break the “code of silence” that most teenagers have with their parents, and ask them to pray with you, too.

     Remember that, as a Christian, God’s Holy Spirit lives in you.  That’s what makes you a Christian.  So you already have all the love you need living right there inside you.  Please let the loving Holy Spirit guide you as you make these huge decisions about your future.  Let us here at CFO know what God does for you in this crisis.  And remember, we’ll be praying for you daily.