How Can I Recover From My Bitter Divorce?

     Question to O. A.:  I’ve just come through a bitter divorce.  But I’m a Christian, and I was taught that Christians can’t divorce.  So I’m confused, angry, and heartbroken.  How can I recover?  P. L. in Colorado.

     Dear P. L.:  Sadly, divorce is one of life’s 10 most stressful events.  The pain it causes is second only to the death of a spouse.  Worse, Christians who divorce often feel much more betrayed, guilty, and confused than non-Christians do.

     But – let’s forget all that for now, and help you start your comeback.  The key to Christian problems is always to get back to the basics.  And one of those basics is that Christians are different from non-Christians in one extremely important way:  They’re indwelled by the Holy Spirit, and non-Christians aren’t.

     The early Christian teacher, Paul, taught the Christians of his day this fundamental truth:  “Don’t you know that you’re God’s temple and that His Spirit lives in you?  Don’t you understand that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, whom you received from God?”[1.  Adapted from First Corinthians 3:16-17 and 6:19.]

     Paul’s teaching means that the solution to your confusion and anger is the Holy Spirit within you.  Inside you, the Holy Spirit can give you the strength to bounce back.  Jesus explained it this way.  He said that Christians have “Rivers of Living Water flowing up from within them.”[2.  Adapted from John 7:38.]  And He said that these “rivers” can give Christians the power to live peaceful, patient, purposeful lives in spite of their troubles.

     The early Christians called these inner “rivers” being Spirit-filled.[3.  Adapted from Ephesians 5:18.]  Paul wrote that when we’re Spirit-filled, the Holy Spirit floods our mind with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.[4.  Adapted from Galatians 5:22-23.]  And that’s what you need for your recovery.

     So start praying today to be Spirit-Filled.  It’ll help you experience what another Christian on this blog experienced.  She went through a bitter divorce similar to yours.  And she started praying daily to be Spirit-Filled.  Later, she wrote, “Now when I wake up in the morning, I can’t feel bad!”

     That’s what you need now.  You need to be able to say, “I can’t feel bad!”  And that emotional strength only comes from being Spirit-filled.

     Two final tips:  First, don’t look to friends and relatives for strength.  They can be helpful, but the strength you need only comes from the inner Holy Spirit.

     Second, study the Ask Owen answer on this blog entitled, “Can Christians Get Divorced?”  It’ll help you understand the facts about Christian divorce.  And now, may the Holy Spirit bless, comfort, and keep you as you recover.