Can Christians Be Divorced?

     Question to O. A.:  My husband was beating me, so I left him.  But I’m a Christian, and I was taught that the Bible says Christians can’t divorce.  Can Christians be divorced?  T. H. in Arizona.

     Dear T. H.:  Yes, Christians can be divorced.  And, no, the Bible doesn’t teach that they can’t be.  Both Jesus and the apostle Paul taught that Christians can divorce if one of the spouses in a marriage engages in one (or more) of three specific unspiritual behaviors.

     People in Jesus’s day took divorce too lightly, just as people still do today, and that was a big social and Spiritual problem, just as it still is today.  For example, in Jesus’s time, a husband could divorce his wife simply by going to the temple and telling the priests that he “disliked” her.

     But quick and easy divorces are wrong in any century, and God doesn’t approve of them.  On the other hand, God doesn’t approve of unsafe, abusive, and stressful marriages either.  So Christians need to understand that there are three specific unspiritual behaviors by a spouse that can make Christian divorce permissible.  Here are those three behaviors.

     Christian divorce is permissible if:

          1.  A spouse is unfaithful.  In the language of Jesus’s day, the word “unfaithful” referred to all forms of sexual immorality – such as intercourse between people who aren’t married; or who aren’t married to each other; or who are the same gender; or between humans and animals.  The word “unfaithful” also included all other types of sexual perversion, such as prostitution, pornography, sexual slavery, and so forth.

          2.  A spouse is unbelieving.  The early Christians taught that Christians should never marry non-Christians, since Christians and non-Christians are Spiritually incompatible.  Thus, Paul said that if a Christian has a non-Christian spouse (or a Christian spouse who has weak faith), and that spouse wants a divorce, he or she should be allowed to have it.

          3.  A spouse is deserting.  The first two unspiritual behaviors (unfaithfulness and unbelief) very often include some type of physical and/or emotional desertion.  That is, an unfaithful and/or unbelieving spouse often ignores his or her mate sexually or emotionally; or harasses him or her financially or in other ways; or physically and/or verbally abuses him or her.  Desertion also includes all other forms of deviant behavior, such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, gambling abuse, pornography abuse, and so on.

     These three unspiritual behaviors (unfaithfulness, unbelief, and deserting) make it easy to define Christian marriage:  God wants Christian spouses to be faithful, believing, and committed.  He wants Christian spouses to be happy, Spiritual, united as one person, and peaceful; and He wants them to raise Spiritual and peaceful children as a result.

     To summarize:  If a Christian spouse is doing any (or all) of the unspiritual behaviors we’ve listed – and he or she won’t stop doing them – then the aggrieved spouse is free to have a Christian divorce.

     Now, as for you there in Arizona, it’s obvious that your spouse was involved in some of the specific unspiritual behaviors we’ve listed.  So now let’s pray that the Holy Spirit will make your responsibilities as a Christian clear to you, and that He’ll guide you in the next courageous steps you need to take.  We’re praying for you here at CFO.  Please keep us posted.