Can A Divorced Pastor Remarry?

     Question to O. A.:  I’m a divorced pastor who had an alcoholic wife.  That was five years ago.  Now I have a new Christian woman in my life and I want to marry her.  But my denomination doesn’t allow divorced pastors to remarry, and I’ll lose my pastor’s credentials if I do.  Should a divorced pastor like me be allowed to remarry?  J. A. in South Carolina.

     Dear J. A.:  The First Century Christians taught that any Christian who has a valid divorce is allowed to remarry.  (We’ll discuss what today’s denominations teach about divorce in a moment.)

     The early Christians taught that there are three grounds for a valid divorce.  They are:  unfaithfulness, unbelief, desertion, and any combination of these three.

     “Unfaithfulness” refers to any type of sexual sin.  “Unbelief” refers to having a non-Christian spouse, or to having a Christian spouse who has weak faith.  “Desertion” refers to verbally, physically, or emotionally ignoring, leaving, or abusing a spouse (all types of substance abuse are forms of desertion, by the way).

     So, if your wife committed any of these offenses (as apparently she did), you have a valid divorce and are free to remarry – at least, that’s what the original Christians taught when Christianity was founded in the First Century.

     Of course, today’s Christian denominations were founded in the Fourth Century when the Roman emperor Constantine began nationalizing and institutionalizing Christianity.  Later, in the Middle Ages, Constantine’s institutional Christianity began subdividing into what are now today’s denominations.  Presently, there are hundreds of denominations, each clinging to different beliefs about divorce.  Some don’t allow divorce.  Some don’t allow remarriage after divorce.  Some don’t allow either.  Some allow both.  Some aren’t sure what they allow, and so on.

     Where does all that leave you?  Today’s Christians need to get back to the basic principles of Early Christianity, and need to live as close to the Early Christian Lifestyle as possible.  If they did, this would mean that your ex-wife deserted you through alcoholism and, according to Early Christian principles, you have a valid divorce and are free to remarry.

     But of course your denomination won’t allow that.  So what should you do?  The Holy Spirit, who guides us into all truth, will show you.  But assuming that you do marry this new love of your life, the Spirit may guide you to stay in your denomination in some capacity other than that of a congregational pastor (perhaps as a professor, or as a retreat director, or in some kind of headquarters position).  Or He may guide you to change denominations.  Or He may guide you to a start a small group in your home.  Or He may guide you to change careers.  Or He may guide you to do some combination of these.

     Whatever He guides you to do, you’ll be filled with happiness, and you’ll know that you’re doing God’s will.  May God richly bless you in whatever new direction the Holy Spirit takes you.